Chinese dating club
Back in 2010, I discovered a post on a now-defunct blog authored by expats in Shanghai.The post was written by a white American woman based in Shanghai and titled, "So, how's the dating scene?He was more of a gentleman toward me than any other man I had ever known.He was Chinese, a man named Tian who grew up in Zhengzhou."Whenever I arrive at the airport in America, the first thing I notice is our men, how handsome and how tall they are," one of my white female colleagues mentioned over lunch."I'll just stare at them for hours, as if I was Chinese and had never seen a foreign man before in my life." At least that woman wasn't as blunt as another colleague, who used to bicycle with me through the streets of Zhengzhou.Surely the other female foreign teachers at my college had secret crushes of their own.
But I figured surely I wasn't alone in my feelings.The experience of being in a foreign country and culture somehow liberated us from our usual American expectations for men and dating itself. We could even reinvent ourselves and what it meant to be in love with someone.It seemed natural and normal to do the same in China.The woman who wrote that post never specifically said any of these things about local men in China, but she didn't have to. Then again, her post appears downright classy in comparison to what I've read in the free-for-all world of anonymous expat forums across China.There was a brief time when I tried combing these forums in search of discussions about dating Chinese men, hoping to gain some insights, but I soon gave that up.
In September 1999 -- my first month in China -- I had a huge crush on a guy.